Day 124: where I live

Hi again,
First I would like to say I am trying to think if I have been thankful for this already on my blog in one way or another but I can't recall for sure. I am starting to lose track. lol
Today I heard about what happened in Libya and how 200 protesters were killed for trying to stand up for their rights. I will not pretend to fully understand what is going on over there and the conditions that they are facing because I am not fully aware of everything nor can I understand what they are going through. I can't even begin to imagine what it is like for people in Libya. It causes me to stop though and think about where I live and what I have and how blessed I am. But it isn't just Libya that is dealing with bad conditions because many countries are. Bad conditions like getting shot for speaking out against the government when you are treated unfairly or being unable to have freedom of speech or freedom of any kind or not having access to basic necessities like clean water or health care. The list is very long as we all know. Then I look at North America and specifically my life and all that I have and I am very thankful for living in Canada. I feel I mention it often how we have so much here compared to other parts of the world but I don't think I can say it enough because we do have so much. Even those who have little have more than other people in other countries. I am not saying that we all live comfortably here because it can be quite a struggle for quite a few people here in Canada to scrape by but we still have more than other people do. Some governments in other countries make our government look amazing. lol I often wish for a better government but when I think about how much worse it could be-I am thankful for the government we have. :) We can speak against the government and they could care less. lol We will not be jailed or shot for voicing our opinions. So I am thankful for where I live. I also send my thoughts and prayers to people in Libya and I wish I could do more but I am not sure I can. Thanks for reading my blog.

Day 123: Hot Chocolate

Hi again,
Well I am thankful for Hot chocolate often but I have been waiting for the right day to write about it on my blog and I think today is a good day for it! I love hot chocolate and the way it warms you up inside! I love tea as well for warming me up but hot chocolate always brings me back to being a kid and coming in from outside on a cold winter day and having a cup of the sweet steaming hot chocolately drink. Except when we were little, we made it from scratch on the stove and it was soooo good! Now we buy store bought stuff which is still good and alot quicker. I don't drink hot chocolate much anymore because it contains so much sugar but every so often I crave a cup of it and nothing else will do! Today was one of those days and it is so chilly outside again that it was also the perfect weather for it. So today I am thankful for hot chocolate.

Day 122: Squirrels

Hi again,
Today I am thankful for squirrels. They can be a real pain but they are fun to watch none the less. Today our resident squirrel was at the base of the tree we have our bird feeder in and it was picking up seeds the birds dropped and it was so cute. I like to watch the squirrels when they eat pine cones because the way they move the cone and pick at it and eat from it which is so neat. They are also funny because they move so quickly that I sometimes think they look like they have had too much caffeine. lol Squirrels are also oddly smart as well and it amazes me the things that they do. A couple years ago we noticed a squrrel was grabbing mushrooms and taking them into a spruce tree and when we came up to the tree we noticed that the squirrel had laid them out on the branches. We continued watching the squirrel and as the mushrooms dried in the sun, it would collect them off the tree and go stash them somewhere. It was quite interesting to watch. Who knew that squirrels dried their food? lol Maybe it is common knowledge to some but to us it was new and interesting. I find it alot of fun to watch these little critters even though they do alot of damage to stuff sometimes and eat the bird's birdseed. Oh it is also funny to watch the squirrel get upset when you get too close to them and I have actually been hit by pine cones. lol Whether the squirrel intended to hit me or not, I am not sure but it was funny. I think the poor thing intended to scare me with it's noise it makes when it's upset but it didn't succeed. Anyways today I am thankful for squirrels. :)

Day 121: Laser Pointers

Hi again,
Today I am thankful for laser pointers because I got a new one for my cat and he is so funny chasing it. lol He is so lazy and will not play with anything but the laser pointer and he really could use some exercise. Since the treadmill idea never quite took off, I am sticking with the laser pointer. lol We sort of had him walking on the treadmill but he would sort of walk to the front and lay down and take a ride to the end and get up and repeat. lol My only concern with the laser pointer is that I don't get it in his eyes because I really don't think that would be a good idea. I find it interesting how he continues to chase this little beam of light that actually can never be caught yet he never gives up. It is very amusing playing with him and the laser pointer so it helps me cheer up when I am down to watch him play. If I time it right that I turn it off when he tries to catch it, then he thinks it is under his paw. lol It is so funny watching him slowly lift his paw only to discover it isn't there. lol He then starts to look for it again which is when I turn it on again and he thinks it just got away I think. lol So this is why I am thankful for laser pointers!

4 months down

Hi again,
First I would like to say thanks to everyone who is following my blog and joining me on this project. I am very thankful for that! I have been surprised to learn how many people I know are actually following my blog. I can see the statistics of how many people view my posts but it doesn't tell me who does so it is always neat to learn who follows my posts on my blog. :) Thank you.
Second, I would like to say that I have noticed improvement in how I view each day and circumstances I go through. I still get pretty low sometimes but oddly I can still see the blessings in my life and it helps my mood to improve when I feel everything is going wrong. I do have so much to be thankful for! I find it interesting when I compare what I have and how I live to western standards that it seems I have so little yet when I look at what I have compared to other people in different countries or I look at non materialistic stuff I have then I can see I have so much! I think that our society bases wealth and success so much on materialistic possessions that we may tend to lose sight of all that we are blessed with that isn't materialistic. I don't have alot of material possessions but I am ok with that because I have what I need and that is enough. Yes I wouldn't mind some things that are wants but I know that it won't make me happier or better to have them and I am ok without it. I also find it interesting that here in Canada our "needs" are not always needs at all but alot of wants that we can most definitely live without if we need to. I thought before I started this project that I was aware of almost all of my blessings but I have learned that there are many more that I simply had not thought of and simply take for granted. I am starting to change that and see everything around me differently. :) I am not saying I do not get depressed anymore because I do but I do see a difference in how positive or negative I am. Thanks again for reading my blog!

Day 120: What I have yet to experience

Hi again,
Today marks 4 months since I first started this blog and it is actually somewhat hard to believe it has been that long. As I sit here tonight and think about the past 4 months, I think about how close I came to doing something that I would have missed out on the experiences of the past 4 months and all I have yet to experience. Some of the past 4 months have been very hard and I have been very hurt and sometimes I wish I had ended my life 4 months ago but then I remember the times over the past 4months that have been good and I think about how it would have affected my family and I realize that it would have been the wrong thing to do. Thinking how I almost could have missed out on the good things the past 4 months makes me wonder what I have yet to go through that I would have missed out on. While there will always be people and circumstances that hurt me, there will be moments that cause joy and happiness that I will be happy to be alive. Four months ago I thought nothing could possibly get better and I wouldn't experience anything good but I have. I am thankful now for knowing that I don't know what is around the corner and this whole experience has taught me that. Knowing what I felt 4 months ago and knowing what has happened the past 4 months wassn't always what I expected which causes me to know and understand that we never know what will happen despite thinking we do. When we feel there is no hope and nothing good that can happen-we need to remind ourselves that we really can't be certain it is never going to get better and we need to remember that better stuff can come. Also in terms of being thankful for what I have yet to experience- I am thankful that I will experience lots of great stuff still in my life and while I don't know what it is, I know I can look forward to it. The pain caused and felt today does not determine what my life will be like for the rest of my life. I don't know what I still have yet to experience and that is part of the beauty of life is the unknown and the possibilities and how anything can happen. Knowing that anything can happen and it doesn't have to be how my life has been in the past gives me hope. This is why I am thankful for what I have yet to experience and I thank you for reading my blog and taking this journey with me.

Day 119: My parent's generosity

Today I am very thankful for my parent's generosity. I would like to apologize first for the length of this post. lol They have been generous to me my entire life and have always made sure I have what I need. I am not talking about things that I don't need like Ipods and video games and more clothes than I needed. I am talking about true needs like a roof over my head and food to eat and a place to call home etc. I was inspired to write this when I read a post on face book about a story on CTV and the comments that were underneath. This isn't really about what the CTV story was about but it inspired me to write about this. I missed the story on the news though sadly. The story on the news was about adult children still being at home with their parents. The comments I read underneath the post on facebook bothered me because people seem to think that laziness causes this (sometimes it does) but that isn't always the case and I felt the need to defend myself and others I suppose. As anyone who knows me knows, I have been through some difficult stuff that has kept me from being able to work the last few years and be independent which I crave so desperately. My parents have continued to be generous and have allowed me to live at home while I get through my recovery. I still pay what I can for rent and I pay for most of the food I consume and I am thankful that my needs are met. Anyone who has followed my blog understands that I am aware of all that I have and that I am very thankful for it. I feel I should highlight my parent's generosity on my blog because it deserves to be mentioned and I want to share with others how thankful I am for them. I really wish I could be living on my own and even just work again because I actually miss working! lol Just to be able to hold a paycheck in my hands again and know that I earned it. I am also so thankful for my parents for helping me through the most difficult parts of recovery which are now thankfully behind me! Stuff like being unable to move around on my own (when I was in a wheel chair) and needing help just to get changed which was not easy for someone who likes to be independent. I am sure it wasn't the funnest thing for my mom to help with either. lol  I am also extremely thankful for my parents taking me to Edmonton for all my appointments and surgeries which has taken up alot of time. But my parents helped me with everything and I am so thankful for it! :) I hope that someday I can repay them for all they have done for me but I don't know if I can ever do anything big enough to even come close to showing how grateful I am for them. I hope that this post shows a bit of how thankful I am for my parents and their generosity and why I am thankful for them. Thanks for putting up with a long post!