Day 19: Taking deep breaths

Hi again. Today has been interesting and I actually wasn't sure what I would write about because I have been dealing with an awful migraine all day and spent most of the day trying to sleep through it. Well I was watching tv and I saw something and it reminded me of something I am incredibly thankful for. I actually haven't forgotten about this blessing but didn't think of writing about it in here. That thing is taking deep breaths. You may be saying huh? if you don't know me very well. Let me give a brief explanation of why this is so important to me if possible because I can be a bit long winded. lol I was born with a disorder called kyphosis (curvature of the spine) but I wasn't diagnosed until it was quite bad and I was dealing with alot of different health problems that I didn't know were related to my back. I would like to say here that the curve was very visible but I thought it was my fault and didn't know it was because of a disorder. One of the health problems was having difficulty breathing and it is because when the spine curves that there isn't sufficient room for the lungs to expand. I started noticing difficulty breathing just before highschool if I remember correctly which made it murder for highschool gym class. From that point on I could not take a deep breath and it was always a lot of shallow breaths but I didn't know why. Anyways I ended up also getting asthma and it wasn't until after I had my back surgery that I could finally start taking deep breaths again. Of course it wasn't right away because there was a complication of a punctured lung or something (I can't remember the details) but once I had recovered from that and I could finally take a deep breath in-it was so incredibly amazing! I still find myself taking in a deep breath just because I can and I can get all the oxygen I need and I love it! In alot of ways I guess I am thankful for what happened because of having the ability to breath deeply taken away, I was able to realize how amazing it is to have that and it makes me so much more thankful for being able to simply take a deep breath. I still have asthma a little bit but it is quite mild and I am thankful for that too. Taking deep breaths is something so simple and so ordinary for so many people that often people don't think about how amazing it really is. I don't say that to cause people to feel bad but to remind you all and me not to ever take it for granted and to be thankful for it. I know I am!

Day 18: Sunsets

Today's post is about sunsets. I am so thankful and grateful for sunsets because they are so beautiful and sometimes so amazing that they take my breath away. I have taken so many photos of sunsets to try to capture the beauty but somehow I find that photos never really do them justice. I have always enjoyed sunsets and when I was young it was annoying when the days would get longer and the sun would set past my bed time. lol I think sunsets are maybe one of those gifts God gives us every day to enjoy if we take the time to watch. A few years ago when my health got really bad, I started to place special emphasis on sunsets because they were the one thing I had to look forward to and also signified that I made it through one more day. It may sound odd or weird but that is one way I made it through the pain I faced each day. I also love how sunsets are even more beautiful when there are some clouds involved and the way the sun shines through them. It can make a regular sunset into a spectacular sight. I definitely miss the sunsets when it is too cloudy or stormy or dreary to see the sun set. Those days really remind me how thankful I am for sunsets as well as the breath taking sunsets do too. Anyways that is why I am so thankful for sunsets. :)

Day 17: Freedom

I once again missed posting yesterday and I will post yesterday's post today and todays post later like I have done before. Last night I was out and I was talking to a friend of mine about being thankful and we were talking about how there are many things to be thankful for and she mentioned about how we are not slaves which is so true. It got me thinking about the freedom we have here in Canada and it is something to be very thankful for!!! I am thankful to her for reminding me of this! We have freedom to say what we like (freedom of speech) and we can work to make money for ourselves (we are not slaves) and we can try to "get ahead". I think about our freedom and I think about other countries where there are so many limits on freedom of speech and other countries that still deal with slavery and we are so very blessed to live here. We can't always get what we want but most of us have what we need and I think that is huge. Some don't have what they need here and I do feel it is almost our responsibility to help those who need help but I won't get in to that here. I know many who do so much for others in need and I think they are amazing. Anyways back to the topic of this post-I wonder if I would not able to have this blog if we didn't have freedom of speech or if it would at least be censored. But I am most thankful for not living in a country where slavery is normal and I have choices and I can choose what to do with my life. Of course with freedom comes responsibility for our choices we make whether good or bad but I can live with that. :)

Day 16: Cell Phones

Hi again,
I suppose day 15 and 16 sort of go together in the sense that both are a form of technology. I have to admit that I had a rough day today and it was pretty tough to come up with something. But I knew these days would come and these are the days I need to do this even more. I am really thankful for cell phones and so often I wonder how on earth my family and I got by without them. lol I had pretty much graduated before we had our first cell phone and even internet in our home. lol That isn't even that long ago I suppose-around 10yrs give or take. No I am not completely sharing my age! lol I never leave home without my cell phone and I usually even have it with me while I am at home. It isn't even just a phone any longer-you can have internet and music and video and a camera and so on so naturally I keep it with me. But for the phone it is so nice because if I am driving and get stuck or something-I can call someone. If I am running late-I can call. If I am lost and need directions-I can call. Heck even if I fall and can't get up I can call. lol Then there is the ability to check email and facebook and twitter wherever I am when ever I want. There is a danger in that though because I feel I get too into that and I am not really present with people physically around me. But it can be handy if used correctly. I love that when the power goes out that I still have access to a phone and I am still connected to internet which is helpful to know what is going on sometimes. So that is why I am thankful for cell phones. :)

Day 15: Digital Cameras

I am quickly realizing that Wednesdays are tough days for me to post so I am thinking I need to find a way to make it possible so I am not posting twice every Thursday. Not that posting twice in one day is difficult though. :)
For the 15th day (technically yesterday) I want to talk about digital cameras. Yesterday I had my puppy Coco outside for a run and took my camera with me and captured a bunch of photos and thought how great it is to be able to do that. Cameras freeze moments in time that will last forever. Cameras can capture photos that evoke feelings of happiness and even sadness or contemplation. They share moments with people who are not able to be there for that moment in person. Our lives are filled with images captured by cameras almost everywhere we look from advertisements on bilboards to photos in magazines to our photos we took on our last vacation. For myself, I love being able to grab my camera and shoot a ton of pictures and then go through and pick the best ones. I love that I can use my camera to take photos of important events in my life that I can look back on and be reminded of those moments in my life. I love the phrase that a picture is worth a thousand words because it is so true. We wouldn't have pictures without cameras unless we would paint them all by hand. lol I can't imagine doing that-can you? I also love that cameras are digital and no longer film cameras even though the film cameras had their place too. It is neat how cameras have evolved over the years and it makes me wonder what cameras will be available in even 10yrs. But aside from where cameras will be in the future, they are an amazing piece of technology that I don't think I could live without. That is why I am thankful for digital cameras.

Day 14: Ability to walk

Hi again. Today I have been thinking about how thankful I am to have legs that work and I can walk. I may not be the most graceful and I often have pain but that doesn't matter because I can walk and I am starting to be able to run again without having to worry about my back. Up until this year it was still too painful for me to run very well despite being given the go ahead by my specialist (who did my back surgeries) to do so. This summer I actually jogged again for the first time since before my first surgery back in 2007 (and not just an attempt but actual jogging!) and it was quite a thrill! Since then I have been working on slowly being able to run longer because as you can imagine, not being able to run for 3yrs has had it's toll. I was out of breath after just a few strides but now I am jogging a bit each morning with our new puppy and I am so thankful for that ability. I got to experience for a little bit what it is like to be stuck in a wheel chair and it helped me to be so much more thankful for the use of my legs. I look back to when I used to play soccer and I am no where near that point and may never be again but I don't mind. Just to be able to move around on my own is quite amazing. When you really think about how often you walk and where you walk and if you had to be in a wheel chair and needed to think about stairs and doors and wheel chair accessible buildings, being able to walk around is pretty darn amazing!

Day 13: Pain-what it has taught me

Hi again. This is something I have been wanting to post about but have been struggling with how to post about it. Just the title has had me thinking because I thought about just titling it Pain but I am not sure I am thankful for the pain and then I thought about "lessons learned through Pain" but I don't know if they are really lessons that I have learned. So I finally came up with the title I have now. This is something that I am not always thankful for because pain isn't enjoyable and I sometimes lose sight of things. But I am thankful for it. Before you make judgments that I obviously haven't been through that much to be able to be thankful for it-let me explain why I am thankful. I have lived most of my life with chronic pain and I have been through alot and I am still going through alot. It is never easy in the least bit to go through it but I have learned so much from it. The obvious reason is that it has made me stronger than I ever could be if I hadn't experienced what I have. I have realized I can deal with alot more pain than I thought I could. My tolerance for pain has definitely increased that I can handle alot more pain now than I could before. It has taught me to be thankful for the little things and how to take life one day at a time and even sometimes one hour/minute at a time because it is all I can handle. I can also relate to people that I am better equipped to help others. I can relate to people in wheel chairs because I have been there even if only for a short time. I can relate to people with chronic pain because I have been and still am there. I can relate to others who are shut in because I have been there. I can relate to others who go through undescribable pain because I have been there and thankfully no longer there. I can relate to people who suffer through depression because of the pain because I have been there. I am not trying to complain or come across as oh look at me I have been through so much-I am hoping I am coming across as showing reasons I am thankful for the pain and what it has taught me and it was never for nothing. I really wish we could learn stuff without going through the pain because it is never something I want to go through and never want others to go through either. But sometimes I remember that in the end it will help me become a better person and a stronger person and it won't last forever and it makes it a little easier to bear. I am not saying that we have to enjoy pain because I can't imagine any reason why or how anyone could but that when we go through it, we can know that it can teach us something and we are not going through it for nothing. That we shouldn't become bitter because of what we have to suffer through. We all have pain and we all suffer and some more than others and we can learn from it. I don't have any answers why there is so much pain and this is not supposed to be an answer why-I just know that we can learn from it and use it to make us better people and be thankful for what it teaches us. I am slowly learning patience through this also. I am not a patient person naturally and is something I really have to work at and going through surgeries and long recoveries has been helpful in learning patience. I am hoping that I have been able to get my thoughts across clearly. I do want to say that it seems through suffering I have found God and I think that He doesn't take away the pain but gives me strength to get through it. I don't understand this but I think that God hurts with us but maybe He knows what we can handle and He sees what we will learn from it and He allows it. I think God won't allow what we can't handle and He must step in somehow but I don't know for sure. I am only trying to grasp at understanding here and this is just my thoughts on this and understand I could be very wrong but that is what I see. Feel free to correct me if I am wrong. Anyways that is why I am thankful for pain-what it has taught me.