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3/13/2013 1:34:41 AM


Heather Vanderdeen

Day 365: dreams

Hello again,
Well today is the last post. As I have sat here thinking about what to post, I can't help but get distracted thinking about the past year. I had a few nights where things were going so bad that I didn't know if I could honestly come up with anything. Then there were nights where I came up with several and it was tough to choose which one to write about. I always wrote down the others so that I had something for the days I could not think of anything. Then there were days that I wanted to post but couldn't and I had to just accept it and plan to catch up when I was able. It has been an interesting journey for me and I am so thankful for the people who have joined me even just part of the way. Thank you.
For today's post I am thankful for dreams of any kind. I am not just talking about the kind that you have while you are sleeping but the dreams you have for your future as well. I have always had dreams of what my future would look like or dreams of what I want to do with my life and sometimes they are very grand and don't seem the slightest bit possible. Yet I don't limit myself-I let myself dream of what could be even if it is unrealistic. Who says you have to be realistic when dreaming? lol It could be argued that dreams are the same as goals but I see goals as what I plan to do and dreams as what I would love to do whether it can happen or not. Sometimes something seems impossible but it actually ends up happening. I will not get into my dreams for the future here. lol  I don't have a lot-just a few but I like to keep them to myself. :)
Then there are dreams that happen while I sleep. I am thankful for these because I have had several where I actually end up figuring something out while dreaming. They are not common but every so often it happens. I like that. Recently I had one of those and it was kind of nice. :) Others I have are so crazy and out there that they make me laugh so hard when I get to retell them to family or friends. lol I wonder sometimes how I come up with the dreams. lol I find dreams rather personal though so again I don't feel like sharing specifics here but just to say I am thankful for them. To be clear though-I am thankful for dreams and not nightmares. Anyways this is why I am thankful for dreams! This concludes one whole year of blessings!!!! Thanks again for reading my blog! I will post details of what I am planning for the next year either tonight or tomorrow. Stay tuned!

Day 364: My faith

Hello again,
Well this is the second last post!!! I was thinking and I guess this is a pretty substantial blessing that I chose for today. In my last post titled "Almost There!!" I stated that I didn't have anything wonderful saved for the last 2 posts. But this is pretty wonderful.
Today I am thankful for my faith. I do believe that there is a God and I do pray. I know that there are friends of mine that do not believe there is a God and I respect their views but I also am grateful they don't mind me talking about my faith. I know that some don't understand how there can be a God when so much horrible stuff happens and I am afraid that I do not have the answers to that. But I feel that there has to be a reason for everything and that God can make something positive out of anything that happens. I know that God has the power to stop stuff but doesn't always and I don't know why but I trust that He has His reasons and He is in control and does not make mistakes. I suppose that is faith too. I have seen good come out of horrible circumstances though and I like to think that is God at work. My faith has helped me through a lot of stuff though. It has never ever been rosy and a lot of times I have questioned God and been mad at Him for stuff that happens to loved ones and myself but I also understand He has to know what He is doing-I'm just not happy about it and don't get it. I have witnessed things I can't really explain that prove that there is a God. I have seen stuff happen that in no way can be coincidence and there is definitely a higher power at work. I don't know if it is politically correct to admit my struggles with my faith or not but it doesn't matter to me. I am just being honest here. But all the bumps in the road so to speak have helped me to grow in my faith. It sounds odd but I do feel that way. Having faith has helped me through stuff. I also trust that God isn't there to always take away stuff or prevent it but to help us through it and not leave us to go through it alone. I love the footprints poem because it talks about God walking with us. Knowing I am not alone can be a comfort even while I go through hard stuff because I am not going through it alone. Anyways I should stop here I think. It is getting late. Thanks for reading my blog. :)

Almost there!

Hello again,
Well this is the second last day of my 365 days of blessings!! Wow I am actually getting excited that I have managed to get this far and will finish! I would have to get hit by a bus or something to not finish so I am pretty sure I will. lol Today is something simple like yesterday. I wish I could say I saved up 2 wonderful blessings to be thankful for at the end of this year but I actually didn't think about that until today.
 With everything going on in my life physically, it has been very hard to make long term plans for quite awhile. For a few years I was waiting for surgery and waiting for the call when it would happen. That made it very difficult to make any long term plans. Then with recovery being so unpredictable I have still been unable to really make any real plans because I don't really know when things will improve and I can get back to a normal life. To me this was a long term plan of sorts and even though it was a bumpy road (missing posts here and there) I feel I managed to successfully finish the plan I made. This is the first time in a long time that I have been able to complete a plan I have made. I guess in a way it didn't really depend so much on where I was or what I was doing and more that I would be able to keep up and not give up on it. I still wish I had been able to be where I planned to be by my 30th birthday but life got in the way and looking back I guess it wasn't all bad. I am not in my own home with my own business with a car of my own and to still accomplish that I might need to find a rich guy real quick but I have had a very interesting few years.
 I have learned a lot and that material posessions are not the things to strive for. I have learned how to be more positive through bad circumstances and how not to give up on life. I have learned that I can never really know what is around the corner and not to give up because things can turn around. I am thinking about how depressed I got a year ago and how close I came to ending it all. I swore to myself for years that I would never get to that point. But I am glad that I chose another path and did not give up. I am glad that I spent the last year trying to change how I looked at everything so that I could find the positive in the midst of horrible stuff. Of course there is a lot that I have not shared about the past few years and I probably never will because it is very personal but I can say that I have managed to make it through it so far. Some days I feel like I am going to fall apart into a million pieces but somehow I manage to keep pushing forward. This project has really helped me accomplish that. It isn't anything fancy-I have just made a promise to myself and others (who ever reads this) that I would find something positive every day. I made a public promise I guess to help me stick to it when it seemed next to impossible to keep pushing forward. I am not saying everyone should go out and start a blog like I did but I urge people to look at the positive in your life and focus on it. I do not say this lightly or easily but no matter how horrible it is, there is always something positive to focus on and hold on to. It helps. We all go through horrible stuff- I know that. But I also know that looking for the positive helps make the horrible stuff a tiny bit more bearable and less of a heavy suffocating load that you don't think you can carry another moment. I hope this makes some sense and I hope I have encouraged at least one person to join me in this... to do what I have learned to do this past year... that would be amazing. :) Thanks for reading my blog. :)

Day 363: mirrors

Hello again,
The finish line so to speak is coming up quickly! Wow this has been quite the year. I know I have said this already but I just wanted to say it again. This is the 3rd last post of 365 posts. wow.
Today I am thankful for mirrors. They come in handy so much-not just to help us see ourselves to get ready in the morning but they also help us when we are driving, slr cameras, telescopes, disco balls (lol sorry couldn't resist adding this in) periscopes, in decorating to make rooms look larger, etc. There are so many uses for mirrors and many of which we use on a daily basis. I am not so sure many of us use disco balls or periscopes on a regular basis but some of the other items we do. lol I would definitely miss having an slr camera or rear view mirrors when driving and very grateful for them. I am also so thankful for mirrors to use when I have something in my eye or to check if I have anything in my teeth. :) I am guessing there are more uses that I have not mentioned that are probably part of very common items but these are just the ones that came to mind. Without mirrors as part of these items it might be very hard to find something to make them work. This is why I am thankful for mirrors.

Day 362: alone time

Hello again,
Today I am thankful for alone time. Time I can be by myself and I don't have to put on a face for anyone and I can be myself. Time that I can spend reading or doing what ever I feel like doing. Time that I can spend on myself. Don't get me wrong-I love to be around people and I love to spend time on others but there are times every once in awhile that I just need to focus on myself. I think we all need that you know? I need to be around people but I also need down time or alone time where it's just me and I can unwind and just be myself. I am thankful that I am able to have alone time because a lot of people just have too much to deal with to have that luxury. I do consider it a luxury and I do treasure it while I have the ability to take time for myself. Sometimes I just like the silence and the ability to hear myself think. Other times I like to listen to music or read or do something that makes me feel better. I was thinking about this today as I sat in front of the wood stove listening to the crackling fire and just having those few moments to myself.... all the stuff from the day over and just noticing how still everything was around me and I could relax and breathe.... not having to deal with any of the drama that often fills our lives... just listening to the sound of the fire crackling. For these reasons I am thankful for alone time.

Day 361: Compassion

Hello again,
Today I am thankful for compassion. The webster's dictionary describes compassion as "sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it."  Other dictionaries describe it as a deep awareness or sympathy towards others. I am thankful for compassion because without it I think this world would be a much poorer place to live. I do not mean financially of course but in terms of quality of life. Compassion allows us to relate as best we can and sympathize as well as try to make the situation better. I have felt the compassion of others as I have struggled to get through recovery from surgeries as well as other things that I have had to deal with and even if it is just a kind word that someone can offer-that can and does make such a difference.
I think sometimes compassion causes us to feel helpless because we want to help others but we don't know how and we feel we have nothing we can offer. Depending on the situation, a lot of times it is comforting to the person just to know that someone cares and wishes they could do something. Somestimes just saying you wish you knew what to say or you hope things improve is helpful because it shows you care. Often compassion leads to people in other countries having a better life with things like clean water or a roof over their head or education or food because people care and do what they can which is often to donate money to charities doing the work. Compassion really does make the world a better place. Maybe it helps people to understand when someone is suffering and it prevents them from being as hard on that person because that person is not able to accomplish as much. I hope I am able to convey my thoughts clearly-sometimes I feel that it is hard to communicate what I am feeling or thinking. For these reasons I am thankful for compassion