Day 88: Hope

Hi again,
Today I am thankful for something that isn't really tangible but very important and that is hope. If you lose hope, you lose so much-possibly everything. Hope is the belief that something will come, something better and it wills you to keep living, to keep pushing forward and if you lose hope- what reason is there to continue? I feel as though I lost hope a few months ago. I felt as though I could not keep fighting through each day, that life would continue the way it has and it would never improve. I felt that every person I opened up to would cause me great pain because it has happened so often that it seems as though it will always happen. I lost hope that I could ever get back on my feet. I lost hope. I thought I had nothing left to live for and I wanted to die.
 Somehow I found it back though and I am still here today thankfully. I don't know if I will continue to live a life with so much physical pain but I think because I have hope again, I feel there is a possibility of living a better life physically. I feel that there is a chance that I can get back on my feet again. I am still having difficulty with being willing to open up to people again though. Yet just posting this post shows that I am taking a great risk of being open about this because I have hope it will not cause me pain to open up about this. I have hope. Hope in a better tomorrow. Hope that good will happen. Hope that what ever I face, I can get through it. Hope that I will become a better more positive person than I am today or I was yesterday. Maybe it took spiraling so low a few months ago to really start seeing things differently. It has helped me to realize that we can't always trust our own judgement because I thought my life would never improve yet I have had days that I never saw possible that were not so bad. I am thankful for hope because it makes living possible. I am not talking about existing here-I am talking about real living where you live the best life you can live. We also don't need perfect circumstances to do that. We just need to live the best we can in the circumstances we are in and hope for a better tomorrow because it can happen. Thanks for reading my blog.